“Let’s go see a family movie tonight”, Mr. 365 said the other day.
“Alright. Which one?”, I asked.
Whether I agreed or voiced my apprehension, we were going to be going anyway and yes, I could have chosen to stay home, but I cherish our family time together no matter what we are doing.
My immediate thought was that it would dishonor those victims of the shooting last week – that to see it would show a lack of compassion for the tragedy.
Also, the stigma that going to see this particular movie and that something out of the ordinary would occur was at the forefront of my mind.
But what are the chances?
It’s more likely we’d die in a car accident than sitting in a movie theater.
Heck, I’d already allowed our son to go see it with a friend last Saturday night, hesitantly at first, but then I acquiesced. Nothing happened to him, so what was I so worried about?
We went and the theater was a little less than half full.
I got through the previews ok and then came our “feature presentation”.
And that’s when it started.
I could barely sit still. My leg started shaking and I played with my fingers.
Every person who wasn’t sitting or came into the theater I watched like a hawk.
My senses were heightened like they’ve never been before and I was on full alert with my focus on everything but the movie.
How could I not help but think about that fateful evening as the movie began and went through the first few scenes: at what point had the shooting started, the terror the crowd must have felt when they realized what was happening, was the theater set-up similar to this because there’s no hiding under these seats, and how will everyone sitting in that movie theater that night be able to go to into another one again without the fear of something happening?
We go to a movie theater for entertainment, to relax and have fun with our family and friends never expecting an event like this to occur.
Just as we send our kids to school thinking they’ll be returning home the same day.
As I sat there, I felt like I was on the verge of a nervous break down yet I wasn’t anywhere near that theater in Aurora, Colorado and don’t know anyone who was directly affected.
My compassion for others and my neuroticism got the best of me.
As the movie progressed, I fidgeted less, my thoughts waned and I was able to turn my attention more towards the action on the screen, but a concern for my surroundings never dissipated, and I wondered…how many people, both men and women, are now sitting in this theater carrying a weapon with Arizona being a Concealed Carry state.
The movie ended and we returned to our car. Mr. 365 drove us home while the kids sat in the back seat discussing the movie.
I sat looking out the window reflecting on both the movie and the feelings which seemed to consume me during it.
Then the tears started. And they couldn’t be stopped.
The 20 minute drive home was spent silently crying with tears streaming down my cheeks, trying to hide any sound that might give it away, and finding comfort that my hair had grown to a point where it was able to somewhat conceal my face.
I was also grateful for the darkness for my feelings weren’t something I was ready to share with the family. It was just too private.
At one point, my husband looked over at me, concerned that I was unusually quiet and asked what was going on. I replied I had gotten a headache from the movie. Moments later my daughter asked if I’d enjoyed it and after gaining enough composure to answer, replied yes.
Upon returning home, I went straight to our bathroom and was finally able to release my emotions.
It was such an overwhelming evening and reflecting on it I wondered if I had overreacted.
But I didn’t, that’s just the way I am: feeling such compassion for others that it sometimes rocks me to my core.
The thoughts of that fateful evening, I soon realized were coupled with the fact that in a few weeks I’ll be again sending a daughter off to college for the first time which was something I hadn’t yet emotionally dealt with up until that evening.
Am I ready to send her off out into the world to a university that is far bigger than the one I ever attended?
But am I confident that my husband and I have given her the tools, fostered her self-esteem, and have encouraged her confidence to be able to make choices that whether good or bad, she will learn from them and use them to her advantage?
I believe we have and I can only hope.
The ultimate decisions are hers and hers alone, as are the consequences.
It is scary, to say the least, to cut those ties and release our children into a world that at times, isn’t as wonderful as I’d ultimately think it is. After all, I do have a tendency to see things through my “rose colored glasses”.
Yes, we need to continue to see the good in people and while not everyone in the world is going to pull a gun on unsuspecting citizens in a movie theater, it happens.
And unfortunately these events are reminders, serving as a wake-up call that we are here on this earth for only a little while and that time spent with our loved ones is so very precious and to be cherished.
It’s not the materials things or the items we acquire and surround ourselves with during the course of our lifetime.
It’s our relationships and how much attention and focus we give to them.
That is what people will be left with once we are gone…
how much we loved and were loved in return.
On Friday we, or rather I haha, roasted a head of garlic and one red pepper.
Today we’re going to make something with it – Hummus.
Ok, I know, some of you can’t stand the stuff, but I personally am addicted to it.
Well, maybe not as addicted to it as I am to chocolate, but it’s healthy and when you make it at home, it tastes all the more betterer.
Yes, the previous statement isn’t grammatically correct, but just go with it.
This is adapted from Good Life Eats.
Roasted Garlic and Red Pepper Hummus
1 15 ounce can of garbanzo beans/chickpeas, drained and rinsed
5 cloves roasted garlic
1/3 cup diced roasted red pepper
2 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons tahini
juice of half a lemon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 freshly ground black pepper
1/8 teaspoon cumin
1-2 tablespoons water, if necessary (I used 2)
Place all ingredients into a blender or food processor.
Mix until completely smooth and well blended.
Store in a tightly covered container in the refrigerator.
I rate everything I make on a scale of 1-4 with 4 being the best and this Roasted Garlic and Red Pepper Hummus 3 1/2 rolling pins.
The flavor was fantastic and the consistency was good, too.
I love eating this stuff with baked pita chips!
I was concerned that adding 5 cloves of garlic was going to be way too much, but when the garlic is roasted it’s not nearly as pungent and is a great addition.
I give you BIG baking hugs and muffins!!